Thursday, February 15, 2018

Don't feed the mean girls: Sorority life, ten years later

The hardest lesson I've ever had to learn was this: Everyone is not for you.

Those sorority sisters you sang songs with and passed candles with and pledged loyalty to? About 95% of them will stop talking to you after graduation.

And it's fine. It will hurt, but it will be fine.

The other 5% will consist of a few very close friends and a few sisters who are legitimately good people, who reach out when you're struggling or offer to help you move, even though you haven't talked in months.

They try.
They are for you.

But the forgetful 95% of those sisters are the painful ones. They'll force you to grow into this world full of hope and disappointment, and they'll show you the side of friendship that is perhaps the most painful to learn:

Most friendships are seasonal.

One day you'll hear about an entire bridal party making fun of you-- loudly. You'll realize that bridal party is full of people who are cruel and need to make fun of others from a decade before to feel secure about their lives. How bored they must be, if they don't have anything new to discuss.

And then the sting-- you find out who was laughing at your expense.

This was the kick in the ass to remove those people from my life. No ritualistic bond will hold me hostage to a friends list full of horrible humans.

One heart, one way though.

It's not me, it's you.