Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Stuff I WILL NOT DO in 2014


This is quite premature, I realize, but I haven't been blogging lately, and when inspiration hits, I guess you roll with it.

I'm sick of making the same list of resolutions over and over: eat more spinach, be a better friend, do more yoga, blah blah blah... I mean, I want to do all of those things all the time, so they don't exactly count as New Year's resolutions, in my humble opinion. And this is my blog, so my humble opinion matters in this case. Here's some stuff I will try really hard not to do in 2014:

1. Include an obligatory "How are you?" when greeting someone. 

No more. If I don't care how you are, or can't give you the time you deserve to tell me about your sick grandma or your new job or your dream house in the Alps, I'm not going to ask. You deserve that time. Alternatively, I will try a little extra hard to meet my closest friends for coffee more often and really listen to them talk about their career endeavors and cranky children and recent culinary accomplishments.

2. Stuff my schedule like a Thanksgiving turkey. 

Looking at the next four weeks on the calendar physically makes me a little nauseous. Derby, derby, derby, friends, Christmas party, volunteer work, real work, another Christmas party, freelance design, more derby, holiday... I love all of these things, but spreading myself so thin means that all of my commitments are only getting part of me. I mean, I get that I'm young and I should be at the bar four nights a week wearing sequins and dancing (so much pressure!) but it's just not realistic. I'm young and I have a career. In lieu of this, I'm going to start using an actual, physical planner to space out my plans, and I will actually schedule in time at home, doing laundry, playing with Tater... those things deserve my attention, too.

3. Call myself a trainwreck.

If you've been following this blog for any amount of time or if you know me outside of the interwebz, you know that I do this constantly. I'm kinda figuring life out right now. I'm single, I'm happy, I'm surrounded by people who love me to pieces and a derby team that calls me on my crap but also reminds me how far I've come. I am not a trainwreck. I'm just experiencing life, like the rest of you, from the underside of the cross-stitch. I'm just not afraid to admit it.

This past year, calling myself by this terribly derogatory name has given me some wiggle room to figure things out without a lot of pressure. But here I am, on the other side of my abusive marriage, skating three times a week with twenty of my closest friends, sketching and doodling more than I ever have... I've found some clarity that I didn't have twelve months ago.

I think by "I'm a trainwreck" I really was just trying to say "I'm human and I'm trying to figure this thing out!"

From now on, I'll just say that instead.

No promises, though.