Wednesday, July 31, 2013

I am not trying to save the world.

I am not trying to save the world. I am not trying to read every book that was ever considered a classic. I am not trying to raise any children. I am not trying to understand the ins and outs of Christian apologetics. I am not trying to plant a church or find a cure for a terrible disease or master a sport or build a castle in a day or lobby for hope or change or forward.

I'm trying to be a decent person.
I'm trying to treat people with respect.
I'm trying to reevaluate what I eat and how often.
I'm trying to turn off the computer every now and then so I can draw or read.
I'm trying to master twenty chords on the ukulele.
I'm trying to stop comparing myself to Zooey Deschanel (kinda hard, y'all.)
I'm trying to imagine what this new start holds for me.
I'm trying to trust the process of making, nurturing, and releasing friendships.
I'm trying to learn to believe what people say when they compliment me.
I'm trying to take tough love constructively.
I'm trying to focus less on my love life and more on loving myself.

And it's hard. It's all hard.

I feel lost often in the tasks of being a twenty-something and the things I "should" be doing at this stage in my life. I don't want to look back in ten years and say I lived my life to someone else's standards. I want more than anything to say I lived it well, I lived it BOLDLY, and I lived it in a way that encouraged and inspired others to do the same.